Shades of Amber
Session 28 - Farturia
I am not sure, but it is possible I am still within my Cube in Abalon. I didn’t think this at first, and thought Dapper, The Underground, and my freedom were quite real. Then
Are they real? What about the strange world of white flat light? Defeating Guardians and stealing airships? Rookstone destroyed? I can’t see how it could all be real… So I’m probably still in my Cube, staring at the darkness, waiting for an end that will never come to me.
But still, it is a nice delusion I’m having. It’s the things I dreamed of because I was thrown in here. A family of sorts, and of course I am actually royalty (which equates to an Above an Above?). I have a father and he’s left me a room to live in, no a fleet of rooms. Or was it Eric who left it? I’m not sure.
Perhaps though, this is not a dream and I am Above an Above. Either way I have hundreds of unanswered questions. When I ask people the answers are often vauge or lack proper definition. What is Pattern? What is Random like? What are the powers my cousins manifest? Are they any different from the Aboves who I’ve learned are heartless creatures who care nothing for those that serve them. If I am one of them, am I going to become like them? Is a day coming when I won’t care if someone below me is guilty or innocent and send them to eternal imprisonment so there is someone to take the blame? I pray not. But, how can I stay who I am when I am not even in the world I remember? Will there come times when I will wish I was back in the Cube, deprived of stimuli and left with an empty mind?
If it isn’t a dream… then I hate a man named Deykin, for he is the one that stole the Marks and got me falsely accused. I can’t blame Mariliss because she’s dead along with everyone else upon Rookstone… But he seems a powerful man and so I can’t seek vengeance. I don’t wield the kind of power I’ve seen these cousins manifest. So I will sit inept with my hatred. The same hate I have for the Above, who stil strike me with fear whenever I see them. I fear my own hate and what it might turn me into.
I miss being able to wake up and simply do my chores. I didn’t have to hate or fear back then, juat obey.
I have no idea what to make of this dream. I’m lost in its sea of confusion amidst riddles of rain.
If I am in my Cube and delusional, I hope I never snap out of it. Better here than in that darkness again.